Set Clear Goals & Remove the Bull
In part three of the Create Your Life, Your Way series, we put limiting beliefs to the test and redefined them to align with our best self. If you haven’t read it yet, go do so now!
Now it’s time to get clear on the kind of life YOU want. I’m not talking about the superficial bull you were told you should want. What makes you happy? What brings you joy? What makes you want to get up in the morning and participate in life. That’s what I really want to know.
Creating a clear vision for your life gives you the authority to take personal responsibility for the results in your life and get busy improving them if you don’t like them. You take action with purpose and make the hard choices because you know where it leads.
Every moment you have a choice to move toward or away from your true self. The outcome of your life is directly related to the choices YOU make. Girl, I’m telling you, if you don’t like what is happening in your life, YOU have to make a deliberate choice to change the habits creating your life. Consistent, focused action is what will get you to where you want to go.
Below are the steps to get clear on the life you want to create and become.
Get Clear on the Life YOU Want to Create
Clarity creates the vision that will guide the actions you need to take. To start, choose one area of your life to focus on.
Grab your journal or open the notes app on your phone and ask yourself,
1. What have you always wanted to do, but tell yourself you can’t?
2. What have you always wanted to do, but are too afraid of what others may think?
List Actions that Lead to Your Goal
It’s time to replace old beliefs and behaviors with new ones. You can’t create a different outcome if you don’t make different choices. Ask yourself,
1. What beliefs and behaviors are necessary to move towards your vision?
2. What do I need to do to implement those new behaviors?
3. What would that look like?
Our first response is often vague and provides little direction. Continue to ask yourself, what that would look like until the steps can’t be broken down further.
Build Wings to Fly When You Want to Fall
Let’s get real for a minute. You created your vision, you redefined your beliefs. High five! Proud of you.
Now is the hard part, you have to put these beliefs and new behaviors to work. You need to follow your vision with consistent, focused action and it’s going to be hard as hell. In the beginning your motivation will be high, it’ll be fun, but when it gets tough, which it will, you’ll need those beliefs and affirmations to pull you through. It’s in those moments of weakness we want the easy way out, we want to play it safe, and we want to go back to our old habits.
1. What struggles may come up as you start to make changes?
2. What triggers or cues ignite your old ways of thinking and behaving?
3. What’s one thing you can do in the moment that provides the same reward as the old behavior but leads to a more positive outcome? (e.g. affirmation, a song, a friend, the tools learned in the Debunk What’s Holding You Back section.)
Stay strong. Behavioral change is hard. You may not make it through step 3 right away. Test different options and see what works best for you. Try it, evaluate, adjust, and try again.
Do the Work
Remember, you have to do the work. So here is what I want you to do for the next 14 days.
Read through the beliefs and action steps you set for yourself. Visualize the steps you will take to develop these steps throughout the day and how you will show yourself compassion along the way.
During the Day
Note when insecurity and your old beliefs creep in. Count to six and breathe in, then count to six and breathe out. Repeat the positive affirmation and new belief to yourself (developed in the Build Wings to Fly When You Want to Fall section of this post).
Reflect on your experiences from the day.
1. What insecurities or old beliefs showed up?
2. What triggered those old ways of thinking and behaviors?
3. How did you navigate forward in those moments?
4. What can you learn from both the successes and challenges?
5. What is one step or affirmation you can use to navigate those same challenges tomorrow?
Celebrate it all. Write it out and reflect to prepare for the next day.
Keep Yourself Accountable
Community is everything. I’m here to help! Let me know, what action or change will best move you towards your vision?
Share the Love
If you found this post helpful share it with your friends! We need our tribe to remind us that we’re already enough and far more capable than we sometimes allow ourselves to be.
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